Staying Afloat When Grief Steals Your Identity

The hardest part of grief as well as the obvious loss of your loved one is the physical and internal changes within your self. Your being. The body’s response is sudden and arduous, truly your mind is not conscious of what is happening to you, only what has happened to your loved one. Yet, it […]

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A Grandmother’s Grief: How My Daughter Shared Her Son’s Life and Death

She was a difficult teenager, my daughter. She gave new meaning to the word rebellion. These were the years when I began to realize my advice would mean nothing to her. She stopped going to school, she started doing drugs, and she consistently ran away from home. She was out of control. Yet, the reality […]

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Songs of My Life: The Importance Of Music in Grief

Music has been a very consistent presence in my life.  I’m not one for silence really. Cleaning the house, music in the background; in the car, music in the background. I have even been known to break out in song at work on my hospital unit. Music has been that much of an influence in […]

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My Conversation With A Medium

I spoke of Konnor’s spirit in a previous blog and how his family believed he had come to visit them from time to time since his death.  I described in that blog how I had been told stories of the afterlife by my paternal grandfather and as a child I had not doubted what my […]

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Grieving Your Own Way

Today is Konnor’s birthday. He would have been ten today. It marks what those of us in grief call a “grief trigger.”  Considering that Konnor has been gone from us for only one year and four months, I still find I am adjusting to his loss and at times need to simply let myself feel […]

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Love is the Answer

 Konnor provided me with a lesson on love. He was a very affectionate child. From the very beginnings of infancy to his toddler days to his last years he was loving. He loved hugs and cuddling. He was kind and caring. He had his struggles but he never let it get him down or let it deter […]

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Finding Clarity

Therapists will tell you that when you enter the grieving pit of hell you shouldn’t make any life changing decisions. As if death wasn’t life changing enough. I didn’t take that advice into consideration. I felt leaving my job of nearly fourteen years was justified, I was grieving and my perception of how I was […]

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Konnor’s Spirit

It started when I was a child. My Maternal Grandfather would sit me in his lap and speak of ghost stories as if they were fairy tales. His belief in the afterlife and the ability to come back in another form was so strong that long after I had forgotten the sound of his voice, […]

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Accepting the new Me

I wasn’t really paying attention. Yet, I could feel myself becoming frustrated over nothing, like a toddler who hadn’t napped and is on the verge of tears over every little thing. I was becoming overwhelmed and I couldn’t put my emotions in check. What the hell was wrong with me. Oh yeah, I’m still grieving. […]

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The Death of the Flowers

I was thinking of the poem “The Death of The Flowers” by William Cullen Bryant as I was driving to my daughter’s house on November 22nd. This poem was one of several that stayed with me after college, implanted in my memory for various reasons. I envisioned a field of dead flowers, a fresh fallen […]

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