Guarding Your Heart: Coping With Parental Estrangement

Four months ago I missed my granddaughters’ birthday party because I was in the ER with a severe case of vertigo. Because this wasn’t the first event I missed in the last three years my eldest daughter, Taryn, decided she had enough of me disappointing her and thus began a punishment of my being denied […]

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Becoming Melancholy: How My Grandson’s Death Changed The Way I Live

I continue to learn and grow as this new person I have become, a griever making my re-entry back into life among those untouched by loss. In adjusting to the new me I have come to accept things about myself that at first I assumed were temporary. I now know that I am permanently changed. […]

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Children And Loss: Warning Signs of Unresolved Grief

Putting yourself back together after the loss of a loved one is a timeless process. Grief is a journey without an end. Yes, grief is yielding. It does eventually become less painful, the mercy of time easing to an ache. Although the gut-wrenching agony has passed, who we were and who we are now is […]

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“Heal Thy Soul”

“Whenever we suffer a physical or emotional trauma, it is said that a part of our soul flees the body in order to survive the experience. With every cut and wound, our essence and vitality grows weaker. This process is called soul loss.“ It is no wonder I have struggled to feel complete since the loss […]

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On Konnor’s Second Angelversary I Make A Wish…

I hold a secret desire that wishes could come true. I keep many wishes deep within my heart. I whisper them late at night when the stars are shining bright with the hope they will be heard. I want to possess the secret lamp that I can rub and make all my wishes come true… […]

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Sweet Dreams Of You

I sat at the table with my hands folded under my chin. There was family talking and moving throughout the room. I sensed his presence before I saw him. Turning in his direction I watched his form move toward me. He walked slowly, head down, staring at the plate of cupcakes he was carrying. My […]

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Until We Meet Again

It was at the request of Konnor’s mother (my daughter) and his father that the theme of his wake be not a goodbye but an “until we meet again.”  The very thought of never being united, touching him or laying eyes upon him again was too much to bear. I have not applied this concept […]

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Searching For The Light In The Darkness Of Grief

For those of you who are just beginning your grief journey, I am here to reassure you and tell you that I understand what you are going through right this moment. I have been where you are. I want you to know it will get easier. I know this sounds untrue and it feels unforgiving […]

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Writing A Grief Blog When Words Fail Me

I have read other grief blogs from mothers who have lost their children and from spouses who have lost their husbands or wives and naturally I sympathize. I ache for them as I read their words written so eloquently and poetically. They are written with purpose and emotion. They write with fluidity, their words beautiful, cultured, […]

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Through Grief ..I Believe

I wasn’t sure if  I was a believer. I wasn’t raised in a religious family. Oh sure I was baptized in the Catholic Church, I had my first communion. But I wasn’t taught anything about God. Or should I say, anything I could remember. So when Konnor died I struggled with my faith. How could […]

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