Awakenings

August 5, 2019.Reading time 8 minutes.

It’s been a while since my last blog, I was feeling the need to write again. I feel like my mind has become healthier. I am putting to use what I have learned in therapy and what I have read. Old habits of negative thinking and dwelling on things I cannot control are no longer controlling […]

Mental Illness: Treating My Major Depressive Episode From The Inside Out

January 30, 2019.Reading time 8 minutes.

I was willing to do the work. I wanted to become self-aware of my own behaviors, and the workings within my own mind. I had come to realize my thinking behaviors specifically my own negativity had been an old habit.

A Mother’s Interpretation Of What The Gay Pride Parade Is And What It Isn’t

December 17, 2018.Reading time 7 minutes.

This summer I was having lunch with a friend when I mentioned my son had attended his first gay pride parade. I cannot recall the whole context of the conversation but I do remember feeling the sting when I heard her say “they don’t have to rub it in our face.” Now this is my […]

Rest In Peace And Me In Pieces

November 25, 2018.Reading time 6 minutes.

Here it is again. The anniversary of his passing. Bittersweet November. The first snowfall I can’t help but think of Konnor, he passed the day after that first snowfall of 2015. A blizzard, then a stillness. A quiet I will never forget as I made my way to the hospital that dreadful day. The only […]

Guarding Your Heart: Coping With Parental Estrangement

October 29, 2018.Reading time 11 minutes.

Four months ago I missed my granddaughters’ birthday party because I was in the ER with a severe case of vertigo. Because this wasn’t the first event I missed in the last three years my eldest daughter, Taryn, decided she had enough of me disappointing her and thus began a punishment of my being denied […]

In Memoriam: When Grief Lasts Longer Than Memory

July 22, 2018.Reading time 6 minutes.

I fear that if I stop eventually all traces of him that remain will dissolve into nothingness and he will be forgotten.

Making Sense Of What Grievers Really Need

May 20, 2018.Reading time 8 minutes.

We really just want to be seen and we just want to be heard.

Becoming Melancholy: How My Grandson’s Death Changed The Way I Live

April 22, 2018.Reading time 4 minutes.

I continue to learn and grow as this new person I have become, a griever making my re-entry back into life among those untouched by loss. In adjusting to the new me I have come to accept things about myself that at first I assumed were temporary. I now know that I am permanently changed. […]

Grief Floats: Why We Can’t Let Go

March 22, 2018.Reading time 6 minutes.

I can’t let go, so I remember. Because remembering is all I have left.

Lessons From My Shower: Time To Come Clean About Grief And Me

February 22, 2018.Reading time 8 minutes.

There are personal spaces where grievers feel safe and secure enough to expose our open wounds. Within these spaces we express our raw, ravaged souls. We grieve alone, hidden in the safety of these places where no one can see us. These private, some not so private places were and still are inescapable. Whether encapsulated […]

Konnor's Lullaby

Category: Grief