Rest In Peace And Me In Pieces

Here it is again. The anniversary of his passing. Bittersweet November. The first snowfall I can’t help but think of Konnor, he passed the day after that first snowfall of 2015. A blizzard, then a stillness. A quiet I will never forget as I made my way to the hospital that dreadful day. The only […]

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Making Sense Of What Grievers Really Need

We really just want to be seen and we just want to be heard.

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Becoming Melancholy: How My Grandson’s Death Changed The Way I Live

I continue to learn and grow as this new person I have become, a griever making my re-entry back into life among those untouched by loss. In adjusting to the new me I have come to accept things about myself that at first I assumed were temporary. I now know that I am permanently changed. […]

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Children And Loss: Warning Signs of Unresolved Grief

Putting yourself back together after the loss of a loved one is a timeless process. Grief is a journey without an end. Yes, grief is yielding. It does eventually become less painful, the mercy of time easing to an ache. Although the gut-wrenching agony has passed, who we were and who we are now is […]

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“Heal Thy Soul”

“Whenever we suffer a physical or emotional trauma, it is said that a part of our soul flees the body in order to survive the experience. With every cut and wound, our essence and vitality grows weaker. This process is called soul loss.“ It is no wonder I have struggled to feel complete since the loss […]

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On Konnor’s Second Angelversary I Make A Wish…

I hold a secret desire that wishes could come true. I keep many wishes deep within my heart. I whisper them late at night when the stars are shining bright with the hope they will be heard. I want to possess the secret lamp that I can rub and make all my wishes come true… […]

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Sweet Dreams Of You

I sat at the table with my hands folded under my chin. There was family talking and moving throughout the room. I sensed his presence before I saw him. Turning in his direction I watched his form move toward me. He walked slowly, head down, staring at the plate of cupcakes he was carrying. My […]

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Until We Meet Again

It was at the request of Konnor’s mother (my daughter) and his father that the theme of his wake be not a goodbye but an “until we meet again.”  The very thought of never being united, touching him or laying eyes upon him again was too much to bear. I have not applied this concept […]

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Toxic Relationships: When Do We Stop Drinking Their Poison And Get Healthy?

There is something those of us in grief become so much more conscious of, it creeps around us like a lion among sheep. We may be weakened and seemingly helpless after our tragic losses but don’t be fooled, our senses are intact and perhaps even heightened. We can smell the toxins. We can taste the […]

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The Monster In My Head I Call Grief

I woke up to the doorbell ringing. It was 9:45 at night, I don’t usually get visitors at all especially at this time of the night. I had not slept the night before. It was the 22nd. It was my Dad’s birthday, he had passed away in May of 2004 yet I still can hear […]

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